Two Romeos and a Juliet
by K. L. Bloodfang
Summary: It is a new year at Hogwarts and Harry Potter has everyone falling in love with him. But only two are worthy enough to be paired with the amazing BoyWhoLived. Who shall win? No one knows!
1. The Bet

Wow! Ming Ming will be happy! I finally began the story I promised for her birthday, which was, let's see…September, October, November, December, January, February, March… seven months ago! I really took a long time to write this. Well, she's happy! I hope you like!

Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter and its characters so no touching! What? I can dream can't I? No? You people are so mean!

**Two Romeos and Juliet**

By: K.L. Bloodfang

Chapter 1: The Bet

It was the beginning of another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Harry's sixth actually. During the summer our hero had changed a lot, for the better. He let his hair grow to several inches below his chin, he decided to wear contact lenses instead of glasses, and he also grew some inches in height and filled up quiet nicely. His now tan and firm body was adorned by punk rocker clothing, specially a very nice, long leather trench coat. In just a few months, Harry Potter had transformed himself into one of the hottest guys at Hogwarts, and everyone had noticed. Every girl and about have of the male population had become aware of how hot the Chosen One had become.

Many girls, boys and, to the grossness of this authoress, even a few professors had fallen in love with said teen. Oh yes, battles began to go on for the love and affection of the Boy-Who-Lived that would put the World Wars to shame. Many students were sent to the hospital wing with broken arms, broken legs, some got the eyed poked out for staring at the boy with the coal colour hair.

In just a few weeks, only two combatants were left. In the red corner, representing Gryffindore and all girl-kind, weighing in at approximately 150 pounds, hair and all, was Hermione Jane Granger. The once best friend of Harry had completely forgotten Ron in order to persecute Harry and annihilate anyone that dare touch her man. On yes, the bushy haired, know-it-all, bossy teen had defeated must of the most worthy female opponents, like Cho Chang and Ginny Weasley. Yes, Granger was feared by every girl at Hogwarts.

In the green corner, representing Slytherin and all that is good and precious in Yaoi heaven, was the most ruthless, cunning and drool-worthy boy, none other than Draco Malfoy himself. The Slytherin Prince had always been attracted to his emerald-eyed rival and now he was drawn more than ever to the boy's charms. He would get over every mountain, every stinky, pathetic and disgusting girl, just to get the black-haired beauty in his arms.

It was a quiet Saturday morning at Hogwarts. Most students had already gotten up and were in the Great Hall. One of those students just happened to be Harry himself. He happily ate his eggs and sausage and was having a quiet conversation with Ron, when suddenly, the doors were slammed opened. It could only mean one thing, Hermione the Savage had arrive. She walked directly to the Gryffindore and sat next to Harry.

"Good Morning, Harry", said Hermione in a sexy voice as she got closer to the Boy-Who-Lived. "Did you have a nice sleep last night? I know you had a very hard Quidditch training session last night. If you want, I could give you a massage to loosen up some tense muscle you may have", she suggested. Harry smiled at her like he always did and took another bite of his eggs.

"No, thanks 'Mione. I'm alright, but I'm sure Ron could use that massage. He just told me his back ached a bit. Oh, and you should take something for your voice, you sound weird." Yes, Harry may be incredibly brave and knowledge in the arts of Defence Against the Dark Arts, but when it came to romance he was as naïve as a new born baby. No wonder he had never dated anyone before. Frustrated, the bushy haired girl just looked the other way.

A few minute later, the owl post arrived and a majestic eagle-owl carrying a medium sized box landed in front of Harry. The bewildered black-head took the box and removed the wrapping paper. It was a large box of premium Belgium Chocolate. Attached to it, was a short simple note:

_Only the best for you, my beloved Harry._

_Draco Malfoy_

_"_Wow! This is so nice of him. I didn't Malfoy cared for me at all!" said Harry, standing up from the Gryffindore table. He looked for Draco at the Slytherin table. "HEY! DRACO? THANKS FOR THE CHOCOLATES!" he yelled from his spot. Malfoy just sweat dropped at his crushes tactics.

'He didn't understood the message', thought Draco with a sigh.

Soon breakfast was over and all the students left for some leisure time. Before Draco could get too far, though, something grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him to a corner of the Hall.

"Keep your filthy hands of my man, Ferret boy!" threatened a pissed off Granger.

"Who do you think you're speaking too, Mudblood? I will touch Harry anywhere I please and as many times I want. And there is nothing you can do about that!" answered the infuriated Slytherin.

"Oh, yeah? I bet you I can get Harry to fall in love with me before you can get him to fall for you", said Hermione while letting go of Draco. Malfoy smirked at her as he left the Hall.

"You're on, Granger. By the end of the year, I will have beaten you at your little game and Harry Potter will be mine. Let the games, begin."

That's it for the first chapter! Review and give me ideas of good love songs. I honestly don't know any since I hate love songs. Heck, I hate romance, except when it is YAOI! I love yaoi! I can't believe I'm writing a romance story! The only reason I accepted to write this for Ming Ming is because she let me pair Harry with Draco as well!


	2. A Poem By Draco Malfoy

Well, ahem, I finally updated this story. I apologize for not updating sooner, but I have had lots of problems with the computer (got attacked by three Trojan viruses and lost all my files), plus, since I can't write poetry nor search for romantic poetry to save my life, I asked my friend Ming-Ming to do it, but she kept forgetting. I just got the poems today after I told her I was working on an update for another story of mine called Hell Raiser: The Stand.

Anywho, On with the Update that most of you must have been waiting for!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor the poem used in this story. They belong to J.K. Rowling and Mike David Morand, respectively.

**Two Romeos and a Juliet**

By:K.L. Bloodfang

**Chapter 2: A Poem by Draco Malfoy**

It had been three days since that annoying, good for nothing, puffy-haired (HEY! I have feelings too, you know! And keep it up and Katara will eat you alive!) (Oh, yeah...) ahem... Where was I? Oh yeah! It had been three days since Hermione had proposed the bet between herself and Draco Malfoy. All this time Draco had been thinking of something to give to the object of his obsession as a token of his undying love he had for the green-eyed ball of sexiness know to the world as Harry Potter. For days he worked his little Slytherin brain the maximum of its capacity and yet had occurred to him that he had deemed good enough to give Harry. The blonde was about to give up when good ole Blaise decided that it would be a good idea to scare Draco while he had a large mug of scorching hot coffee on his hands.

"HELLO, DRACO!", yelled Blaise from behind the hottest Slytherin in the history of Hogwarts. Needless to say, Draco spilled the contents of his mug on his pants, which cause him to jump from his chair and run around the common room like an idiot until Pansy threw a bucket full of water at the Malfoy's family jewels. Don't worry ladies, the jewels were saved thanks for to the quick thinking Pansy. From now one September 5 will be know as Parkinson Day, for her on bravery on the field. Anywho.. Let's get back to Draco and Blaise.

"WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU THINKING, BLAISE! You nearly scorched my balls!", yelled the angry ferret.

"I'm sorry! It's just that you looked so uptight that I wanted to liven up your day a little", said the other teen, making circles in the ground with his finger.

"Next time don't scare me when I'm holding I mug of piping hot COFFEE!"

"Okay. Anyways, what the hell have you been thinking so hard about? I swear it smelt like something was burning in here last night."

"I'm trying to figure out something to give to Harry as a token of my love for him, but can't think of anything that would be deserving to such a gorgeous human specimen", answered Draco, while little hearts floated all around him. To say that the Slytherins were surprise to see floating hearts around them is an understatement. Anywho..

"You were thinking of something to give to Potter? Why?", asked Blaise. Around that time, Crabbe and Goyle made their triumphant entrance to the Common Room, but no one noticed.

"Well, you see, I have this bet going with the Queen of Mudblood that I can beat her at conquering the Boy-Who-Lived's heart before she can. And I can't think of ANYTHING!", yelled poor desperate Draco. "Blaise, I really didn't wanted to do this but, help me."

"Wait, let me process the information first. You made a bet with Granger that you could win Potter over before she could but can't think of anything that might get you closer to your goal, am I right, asked Blaise to the love sick Draco before him. The blonde nodded. Then, I voice from afar spoke the words that would bring the young Slytherin's ordeal to an end.

"Why don't you write him a poem or something?", asked none other than Vincent Crabbe.

"Yeah, girls usually fall for a guy when they write them a poem, right?", added Gregory Goyle. The whole Slytherin Tower was amazed at these words of wisdom. Millicent Bullstrode took a small pink book from her backpack and wrote : "_This has been a wonderful day for Crabbe and Goyle. They finally said something smart! But I fear I joy will probably be short lived so I had to document this glorious day." _ She then put the book back in her backpack and left.

Draco, on the other had, was pondering the two idiots brilliant idea. 'A poem, eh?', he thought. 'That would actually do! But it can't be any kind of poem. It must be a poem made by me or else, where is the specialness? Yes, today, I, Draco Malfoy, will write a poem for the first time! But, I don't know shit of poetry! This was a mission doomed from the start!' Draco sat on a chair, a look of defeat in his face.

"What is the matter now, asked Blaise again.

"The poem is a great idea but I don't have a fucking clue as to how to write a poem! There is no hope, Granger has won. I must surrender to her girly powers of doom. I can't believe I have lost to a Mudblood. I'm sorry, Harry my love, someday I shall win you back", said the defeated blonde. Suddenly, Professor Severus Snape appeared from the shadows in front of Draco. "Mr. Malfoy, to my office, NOW! Follow me!", said the Professor as he stepped back into the shadows and disappeared. Draco stood stunned in front of the shadowy wall wondering how the hell he was supposed to follow Snape, when a hand pulled him in.

When he next opened his eyes, he was in a lavishly decorated room in which its beauty lied in its simplicity. The walls were painted in soft pastel colors and adorned with silk fabrics. There where no windows, and the only furniture in the room were a beautiful antique candelabra and a desk made of the finest Redwood. It had gold finishes, lots of different types of the finest parchment, inks and quills were neatly placed on top of it. Curious as to who the room belong to, Draco got close to and that name was embroidered in it: Severus Snape. The blonde's jaw dropped and nearly fainted when he saw his Head of House name in the desk.

Suddenly, a shadow appeared behind him. Draco, slowly turned around to be met with the most terrifying sight of his young life; so terrifying that he actually fainted. Before him stood no other than Severus Snape, in pastel pink robes. He had pulled his hair back into a ponytail and had tied it with a pretty pink bow and had a warm and loving smile in his face. (A/N Creepy, no?)

After revived Draco from his little fainting spell, the usually dark and moody professor took the blonde's hands into his own and spoke: "Draco, my dear child, you cannot give up on your quest to have Young Potter's love, especially to that silly, little know-it-all."

"But Professor, how am I suppose to write a descent enough poem for my beloved when I haven't even read one in my life! And further more, what the fuck?", said Draco, still eying Snape suspiciously. The Potions Master stared at him for a moment, wondering what he meant and then burst out laughing; which scared the living hell out of Draco again.

"You are wondering why am I dressed this way and why my study is like this? Well, the answer is simple: the increase my creative powers. My normal chambers are too dark for any loving thoughts to burst through. So I created this place for when I felt like writing a little poetry!" At the word "poetry", Draco's ears perked up and finally paid the Professor attention.

"Wait, you write poetry? The great, dark, gloomy, I-have-a permanent-stick-up-my-ass Snape writes poetry?", asked the disturbed boy.

"Yes! And I can help you write the best love poem you will ever see in your life. Together, no one, not even Granger with her amazing Girly Powers of Doom, will be able to beat us!", proposed Snape with a crazy looked in his face and, even though he was scared out of his wits, Draco decided to join him. 'Hell, I get all the free poems I want.'

Together they worked arduously, with no breaks, through the hot summer days, windy autumn days, cold, snowy winter days and spring showers. And finally after all there hard work, they had finally created a poem worthy of Harry Potter. Yes, it took them two hours, but it was finally done.

Now Draco walked full of confidence towards the Great Hall and to the boy that brought all sorts of shivers to his heart: Harry Potter.

"Hello, Harry, my beloved,"said Draco catching Harry's attention.

"Oh, hello Draco! Really weird weather we had in the last couple of hours don't you think?", asked the raven-haired boy, flashing Malfoy a beautiful, white smile.

"Umm... Yeah! By the way, I have something for you."

"Really! Ohh, those chocolates you gave me where delicious by the way."

"Yeah.." Draco then delicately took out a piece of fine parchment out of his backpack and geve it to Harry. "Read it." Harry obeyed the command and began to read the poem that Draco and Snape worked so hard to create.

_**Meant to Be**_

_You mean more to me,_

_Than words can express._

_It is these feelings,_

_I cannot suppress._

_I miss you,_

_Every second we're apart._

_A picture of you,_

_Will be forever engraved in my heart._

_It was not long ago,_

When we first met.

_But I knew you were someone,_

_I would do anything to get._

_You're so perfect,_

_In every which way._

_Since I first saw you,_

_I've been thinking of you every day._

_Now every night I pray,_

_Hoping this was meant to be._

_But there's only one way to know..._

_Would you go out with me?_

_With all my love,_

_Draco Malfoy_

Draco looked hopefully at Harry as he smiled at him once again. 'Yes! I won! This was a whole lot easier than I thought', thought the blonde to himself, while doing the victory dance in his head.

"Wow, Draco! Did you wrote this? It was wonderful! You have real talent! You know you should become a poet! I think I'll send this poem to Witch Weekly! I bet lots of people would like it!" and with that, the naive boy stood up and practically bounced to the Owlery, leaving behind a Malfoy boy nearly at the verge of tears.

Meanwhile, behind a column, Hermione Granger spied at his competition. "A poem, eh? I bet I can write a poem far better than that one! YOU JUST WAIT, FERRET BOY, I SHALL BE VICTORIUS! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!", laughed psychotically Hemione as a couple of first years ran for dear life.

Well, that's it for this chapter, I should be able write the other chapter soon, since I have the materials I need. If any of you have a romantic poem, or a love song that you would like to be included here, please send it in your review or at least where I could find it. I will be eternally grateful. Of course, sny ideas are also more than welcomed. And remember, Review!


	3. Hermione's First Poem EVER!

Well, my people! I have a surprise for you... I'm gonna give you TWO chapters! BE HAPPY!

And since I just woke up, my brain is still half-way asleep so... ON WITH THE STORY!

Disclaimer: I don't Harry Potter nor the poem Angel Eyes (it belongs to Briana Angel Horgan)

**Two Romeos and a Juliet **

By: K.L. Bloodfang

**Chapter 3: Hermione's First Poem...EVER!**

**(Previous Chapter)**

_Draco looked hopefully at Harry as he smiled at him once again. 'Yes! I won! This was a whole lot easier than I thought', thought the blonde to himself, while doing the victory dance in his head._

_"Wow, Draco! Did you wrote this? It was wonderful! You have real talent! You know you should become a poet! I think I'll send this poem to Witch Weekly! I bet lots of people would like it!" and with that, the naive boy stood up and practically bounced to the Owlery, leaving behind a Malfoy boy nearly at the verge of tears._

_Meanwhile, behind a column, Hermione Granger spied at his competition. "A poem, eh? I bet I can write a poem far better than that one! YOU JUST WAIT, FERRET BOY, I SHALL BE VICTORIUS! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!", laughed psychotically Hermione as a couple of first years ran for dear life._

**(Now)**

Hermione looked over and over at the flashback, wondering what part of her brilliant mind had given her the idea to write a poem. She once again hit the rewind button on the flashback and played all over again. Ron, who had been with Hermione for the last couple of days, was about to have seizures from watching the same thing for 48 hours.

"Hermione! Can't we watch another flashback? That one is driving me insane!", said Ron to the bushy haired girl. Hermione glared at him with the passion of a thousand suns, which effectively shut the red-haired up!

"I have to analyze this Ron! Why did I do that!"

"Simple, you where mad and wanted to up Malfoy on his little poemy thing! Now can we change the channel?"

"Ron, if you are so bored, why don't you watch your own flashbacks!" asked the pissed off Hermione.

"Because yours are better! Mine are boring, they have no special effects or anything," answered the red-haired idiot.

Hermione got even madder and bound Ron to a chair and made him watch the flashback over and over again. "MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Never mess with Hermione Granger! My Vengeance will always be swift and horrible!", said the little Psycho before going to the library.

When she got to the library, she took out a piece of parchment and a quill. She sat there and stared at it, as if expecting it to magically write a poem by itself. That's when Hermione remembered something very important. "SHIT! I don't know th first thing about poetry!" That's right, Hermione, a girl, didn't knew the first thing about poetry. The girl had read bean reading books since before she could even read (how she managed to do that I will never know) but she had never, in her life, picked up a poetry book.

"How the Hell am I suppose to write a poem when I don't know what they look like? I can't ask any of the other girls for help, either! They'll probably write something crappy so I would look bad before my future husband", said Hermione with a sigh. "It seems like Malfoy won this round. But how! I'm the one with the Amazing Girly Powers of DOOM! How is it that he was able to beat me!"

Suddenly, a shadow loomed over her, scaring the shit out of her. (Good thing she was wearing diapers, eh?) Madam Pince stood there, in all her librarianyanesse, with a very angry face staring right at Hermione. "Miss Granger, you of all people should know that you're suppose to be quiet while you are at the library! Go now!"

Hermione stood up defeated and prepared to walk away. Before she left, though, Madam Pince put a letter on her hands. The teenage psychopath looked at her strangely. "What.."

"Don't give up so easily Miss Granger, for there is someone in this school that battles for the well being of the Amazing Girly Powers of DOOM. They must never lose to the boys Mega Manly Powers of DESTRUCTION!" Hermione still stared stupidly at the librarian, but shrugged it off. Hey if there was someone that was going to help her write a poem she didn't care who it was.

She went to an empty corridor and opened the letter.

_Miss Granger, meet me at the Restricted Section in the library. We shall defeat the Mega Manly Powers of DESTRUCTION no matter what. LONG LIVE THE AGPD!_

Hermione crunched the letter in her hand. "The library! I was just their! Why the hell did Madam Pince threw me out for! Damned bitch! Whoever this person is, it better help me make a good poem."

The Gryffindore walked all the way back to the library and to the Restricted Section. In between all the books was a table with at which a clocked person sat. "About time you showed up, Miss Granger", said the person, addressing Hermione. The girl sweat dropped; she recognized that voice anywhere.

"Professor McGonagall?" The person took of her cloak and indeed it was Minerva McGonagall. "How did you know?", asked the woman pouting.

"Simple, I would recognize your voice anywhere. So, you can help me write a good poem?"

"But of course. After all, if Mr. Malfoy got help with his poem, why shouldn't you?"

"Wait, Malfoy got help? From who?"

"From the damned Greasy Haired Bastard himself!" Hermione stared at the professor. There was only one Greasy Haired Bastard in the school and she just couldn't picture in writing ANY kind of poetry.

"Your trying to tell me that Severus Snape, the Potions Master, dark and gloomy, help Malfoy write a Romance poem?"

"OF COURSE! The dark and gloomy thing is a front! He actually likes long walks in the beach and flowers and puppy dogs! He's robes are actually pink! He just enchants them so people will see them black! And he even has a room decorated in pastel colors and silk where he writes poetry!", said the hysterical McGonagall, while her eye twitched.

"Professor, your vast amount of knowledge of Severus Snape's life scares me. How did you knew that?"

"What I hadn't figures out myself and read on the previous chapter", the old woman answered with a shrug. "Anywho, it is time we begin with the poetry writing!If some should win Potter it should be you, my dear!" Hermione's eyes lit up.

"Because I'm so beautiful, and smart?", she asked with sparkles all around her.

"No, because your a girl and a Gryffindore." And all the sparkles dropped to the floor.

Even though Hermione was blue while writing her poem (and I mean literally blue), she and Professor McGonagall wrote a poem as good, if not better that the one the Slytherin's wrote. The Gryffindore girl wa so confident on herself that she at dinner she stood up on the Slytherin table (why there I don't know) and read her poem to her future husband.

"Harry, I wrote this for you. Please listen to it."

Angel Eyes

They glisten in the light,

They appear to me to be so bright.

Sent with you from heaven above,

Full of happiness, sorrow, and love.

Sometimes they look shy,

Sometimes they look ready to cry.

Sometimes they look deep into mine,

They always seem to look so fine.

When my hopes are down and my life is blue,

To lift my spirits, I know what to do.

Just one glance makes my heart stop,

I love to stare, so it happens a lot.

I love how they sometimes appear to be green,

You own the prettiest pair I have ever seen.

If I can't see them at least once a day,

I start to feel upset... in a way.

I feel my day is incomplete,

And slowly into my mind you seep.

I shut my eyes and dream happily,

Of how I have you finally.

But mostly I dream of something I love,

And how they remind me of the stars above.

Twinkling so bright, even when you stare into space,

When I see this, a smile crosses my face.

I know you're happy, I feel the same way,

I don't want this feeling to ever go away.

As I see you next to me,

I realize- you are my fantasy.

Now we lie, you hold me near,

And whisper the words I love to hear.

You whisper, "I love you," and you don't tell lies,

I see the truth... in your angel eyes.

"So what do you think, Harry? Is it good?", asked Hermione hopefully. Harry had tears in his eyes, which for Hermione meant a good thing. She smiled happily and gave Malfoy a victory smirk. McGonagall stood up and pointed and Snape "HA! In your face, Snappykins!"

"Hermione," began Harry in awe, "that was amazing. My God, to think there are two great writers here at Hogwarts! The world deserves to know of you talent! I will also send your poem to Witch Weekly,"said Harry happily as he took the poem out of Hermione's hands and ran up to the Owlery. Hermione and McGonagall stared after the retreating for of the boy who lived.

"You were saying, Minerva?" said Snape smirking at the older woman.

Well, that's it! I'm gonna have some breakfast and then I'll write the other chapter! REVIEW!


	4. La Serenata

Ha! Didn't I promise? Here is the next chapter! Go ME!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter nor the songs that appear in this story, which I don't know as of yet, but will when I continue with writing.

**Two Romeos and a Juliet**

By: K.L. Bloodfang

**Chapter 4: La Serenata**

After the Hermione's poetry fiasco, Draco made his way to the Slytherin Common Room. All the way he tried to think of others way to convey his love to his beloved, yet extremely naive, future fuck buddy, I mean boyfriend. I didn't surprise him that by the time he had arrived, he hadn't thought of a single thing. The blond sighed; he knew he had no other choice but to ask for help once again. Inside the room where several of his classmates, including Blaise. He eyed the other teen carefully, searching for any piping hot liquids that could boil his family jewels. When he found none, he approached them and with another sighed sat between Blaise and Pansy.

"Why so blue, Draco?", asked Pansy.

"He is more white that blue, you know," said Blaise eying the blonde. Both Pansy and Draco stared at him, impressed by his stupidity. "Blaise, stay away from Crabbe and Goyle. They're rubbing off on you," ordered Pansy. "Anywho, Draco, what's the matter?"

"That damned Mudblood wrote a poem to MY Harry. And it was good! I need another romantic thing to do for Harry before the bushy-haired demon stills him away!"

"OHH! I KNOW I KNOW! PICK ME PICK ME!", said Blaise jumping around with his hand raised. The blonde Slytherin rolled his eyes at his friends antics. "Yes, Blaise?"

"What about a serenade! Those are romantic and girls like them! Harry is kinda like a girl, right? I bet he'll like it!" Everyone in the room stared at the boy. "Sorry. I thought it was a good idea,", said Blaise dejected.

"NO! Blaise! That was good! A very good idea! We were just surprised! Draco! That's what you have to do! You already know how to sing! I have heard you in the shower! It's perfect!", rambled on Pansy in excitement. Draco thought about and liked the idea.

"YES! I, Draco Malfoy shall sing for my beloved tiger!" "Lion," corrected Pansy. "Same difference!"

"Yeah! What are you going to sing for Harry?", asked Blaise, bursting Draco's bubble. "That's a good question, Blaise. What DO I sing?"

Draco sat down again, yet again pensive, this time wondering what to sing for his beloved. The rest of the Slytherin's joined their leader into the brain frying activity. A few minuted later, the ideas began to pour.

"What about All I have to give (Backstreet Boys) or Dreaming of you (Selena)?", offered Pansy.

"No, their good, but no. Any other ideas?"

"Maybe Hero (Enrique Iglesias) or Can you feel the love tonight (Elton John)?", said Blaise.

"No, I like them, but no? Anything the two of you have to offer?", asked Draco to the two lovable idiots, Crabbe and Goyle.

"Well, we thought about one, **All My Life (K-Ci & JoJo). Is that good?", said Goyle to Draco. The pale teen thought about and soon a smile graced his face. "I'm so proud of you two! That's two great ideas, in one month! I can't believe it!"**

Pansy then took her notebook from her pocket. This had to be preserve; she wanted to remember it even when she was old with Alzheimer.

_'This has been a very good week for Crabbe and Goyle. They had another great idea! True it took both of their brain power to do it, but it still was a great idea! We're all so proud of the resident bozos!'_

After she was done, she put the notebook back in her pocket. Then she thought about something. "Draco, you need some else to sing with you. That song is a duo," she said. Draco just smiled at her. "Oh, I know that Pansy. I already know who is gonna sing with me. Oh, Blaise, my darling! I need to borrow your angelic voice tonight!"

"NO WAY! You have been mean to me all week! There is no way I'm gonna loan my precious voice to you!", yelled Blaise at Draco, who still smiled. "I'll give you a cookie." "DEAL! What time should I be ready?" "How about now? Vince, fetch Blaise's and my broom, my loyal hound!"

The teen did as told. Ten minutes later, Draco and Blaise where under the Gryffindore's window, Blaise happily munching on a macademia cookie. " Blaise, finish the damned cookie already, will ya? We don't have all day!" "But its a good cookie and, besides, its the middle of the night so we have all day!" Draco smacked him upside the head. "Don't be an idiot! You know what I mean! Finish the cookie so we can give Harry his serenade or I'll throw away the damned cookie!" Blaise finished his cookie quickly and soon was ready to sing.

It was a perfect night for romance, that it was. The sky was clear of clouds, the moon was full and the stars shone brightly. A howl was heard in the distant, catching Harry's attention away from the chess game that he was playing with Ron. He walked over to the window and howled back to the werewolf. Why he did that I don't know, I guess he bored or something... Anywho... back to the Slytherin duo.

"Blaise! Nows our chance! Come on!" And so the two teens began to sing, A Cappella mind you. Yes, it has been said that their voices combined sounded like a choir of angels. To Hermione, they sounded like a screeching cat.

"_I will never find another luva sweeta than you,  
Sweeta than you  
And I will never find anutha luva more precious than you  
More precious than you  
Boy you are  
Close to me you're like my mother  
Close to me you're like my father  
Close to me you're like my sister  
Close to me you're like my brutha  
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing_

_And all my life_

_I've prayed for someone like you  
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you  
All my life  
I've prayed for someone like you  
And I hope that you feel the same way too  
Yes, I pray that you do love me too_

_I said you're all that I'm thinkin' of...baby_

_Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger  
You're all I'm thinkin' of, I praise the Lord above  
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug  
I really love you_

_And all my life, baby, baby, I've prayed for someone like you,  
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you, baby  
All my life I've prayed for someone like you  
And I hope that you feel the same way too  
Yes, I pray that you do love me_

_You're all that I ever known  
When you smile, on my face, all I see is a glow  
You turned my life around   
You picked me up when I was down  
You're all that I ever known   
When you smile on your face all I see is a glow  
You picked me up when I was down  
You're all that I ever known  
When you smile on your face all I see is a glow  
You picked me up when I was down   
And I hope that you feel the same way too  
Yes I pray that you do love me too_

_All my life  
I've prayed for someone like you  
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you  
All my life I've prayed for someone like you  
Yes, I pray that you do love me too  
All my life I've prayed for someone like you  
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you  
All my life I've prayed for someone like you  
Yes, I pray that you do love me too"_

"By the end of the song, all the girls, except Hermione, where in tears at such a beautiful and pure demonstration of love. They where all sure that Draco had finally won Harry heart with that. Harry was in awe at what he had seen.

"Oh my God, you guys! That was wonderful! You could get places with those voices! I know of a talent agent that will surely take you guys in. You will be famous! My, Draco, you sure are talented," and with that He-Who-Is-Too-Naive-Too-Know-When-Someone-Is-Trying-To-Win-His-Heart skipped out the room, leaving behind the whole Gryffindore population, plus a very frustrated Slytherin behind him. Blaise Zabini, on the other hand, was too cheerful to even care that his friend had failed again.

"Ooohhhh, Draco did you heard that? We could be stars! Isn't that great?", asked the black-haired teen with starts in his eyes. Malfoy grabbed him by the shirt and pushed him of his broom. "Idiot."

Hermione walked to the window carrying a bucket. "Nice try, Ferret Boy. For a moment there I was worried that you might have won our little bet. Well, anyways good night and good luck trying to get rid of the stench" The bushy haired bitch the threw the contents of the bucket on top of our hero and left laughing maniacally.

"DAMNED FUCKING BITCH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!", hissed the pissed of snake. "Dragon dung," answered the vile villain, still laughing at our hero.

"DAMN YOU! I SWEAR TO YOU THAT I SHALL DEFEAT YOU ! IN THE NAME OF THE MEGA MANLY POWERS OF DESTRUCTION!" Draco yelled all the way to the Slytherin dungeons.

Well, that's over! Two chapter updates on one day! Go me!


	5. Hermione's Turn with the Microphone

HOORAY! I'm back! After such a long time, I'm back!

There's a really good reason why I haven't updated. You see... um... I WAS KIDNAPPED BY RABID BUNNY NINJAS! Yeah, that's it! Rabid bunny ninjas of DOOM! They tortured me and everything...

But I escaped and now I'm back! So let's just continue with the story, kk?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, nor "Buttons", from the Pussycat Dolls.

**Two Romeos and a Juliet**

by: K.L. Bloodfang

_**Chapter 5: Hermione's Turn with the Microphone**_

Hermione paced over and over in the Gryffindore common room. Ron looked at her as he ate some chocolate frogs, wondering what had his friend's panties on a bunch and also wondering what kind of panties his friend wore. Being the idiot he is, he asked her.

"Hey, 'Mione? What kind of panties do you wear?" The psycho stopped her pacing and faced Ron, anger speaking from her. Ron gulped, Now he realized how stupid that had been. "Ron? Why do you ask me what kind of panties I wear?", she asked through clenched teeth.

"Well, I was wondering what had your panties up in a bunch and then I thought that," said Ron, trembling in fear. Hermione sighed, 'Boys,' she thought and hoped that Harry wasn't like that.

"Look, you're lucky that I have more important things to worry about. After that performance by Dungface, I have to up him one. I hate to admit it, but Malfoy's a really great singer. I'm not bad, but how can I compete with something like that!", said the girl pulling her head. Now, surprising as it may seem, Crabbe and Goyle aren't the only ones that can get good ideas from time to time. So can Ron and fortunately for Hermione (and us) he had one now!

"Um, Hermione? I think I have an idea. Why don't you sing a seductive song. That way, even if your voice isn't as great as the Ferret's, you would still be sure to catch Harry's attention. I mean, he IS a guy; and the way to a guys heart IS through his dick."

Hermione stared at her red-headed friend and walked towards him. She stared at him as he had grown a new head. "Uh, Hermione?" She then kissed him. Hard.

"Ronald Bilius Weasley, sometimes you even surpass my own intelligence. I'm rather impressed! Problem is, what song should I sing?"

"I thought about that too. What about 'Buttons' or 'Don't Cha' by the Pussycat Dolls. That should be sexy enough, don't you think?"

Hermione thought about it hard and smiled at her friend. "Ron, I could kiss you again. But I won't. I think I will pick 'Buttons'. I know that one better anyways. Well, Ron, I will see ya later. I have a lot of practicing to do. And I have to find some lingerie..." the crazy said as she continue counting all the things she had to get for her performance.

A few weeks had passed. Draco was confident that Granger had given up. She would have acted already otherwise. They currently were at the Great Hall, being dinner time after all. He was laughing maniacally and people were staring at him weirdly. "What the fuck are you looking at," he yelled and people stopped.

He looked at Harry from afar. His beloved ebony-haired prince was eating some chocolate covered strawberries. 'If he continues eating those, I'll have to get a cold shower. A VERY cold shower.

Suddenly, all the candles turned off and a stage light appeared in front of Harry. Dumbledore and McGonagall looked at each other, "I didn't knew Hogwarts had stage lights, professor," said Minerva. "It doesn't," answered the old man, bewildered . Then music began playing and a shadow appeared in the room. It climbed the Gryffindore table and walked towards Harry. Hermione Granger stood before him, dressed in a black and pink corset, elbow-length pink gloves and thong and black thigh-length boots. The whole school's jaws dropped, everyone's except Harry's. She then began singing and dancing (imagine the 'Buttons' video; just like that).

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

Typical  
Hardly the type I fall for  
I'm liking the physical  
Don't leave me asking for more  
I'm a sexy mama (Mama)  
Who knows just how to get what I want and (Want and)  
What I want to do is spring this on you (On you)  
Back up all of the things that I told you (Told you)

You been saying all the right things all night long  
But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off  
Baby, can't you see?  
How these clothes are fitting on me  
And the heat coming from this beat  
I'm about to blow  
I don't think you know

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

By this time, Draco Malfoy have had enough. He wasn't gonna let that whore steal HIS Harry. He took out his wand and pointed it at the dancing girl. "SILENCIO", he yelled and Hermione was shut, she couldn't sing anymore. She panicked and looked at Ron, he was the only person that knew the song by heart, having watched her throughout those two weeks. She took out a piece of paper and wrote him a message. "WHAT? You WANT ME to sing the rest of the song! FORGET IT," yelled Ron. Hermione glared daggers at him and cracked her knuckles. "Okie dokie! Of course I'll sing the rest of the song. Anything to help a friend," said Ron, trembling. He got on top of the table and took the microphone from Hermione and began singing, while she continued dancing. Amazingly, he was also a very good singer, as good as Malfoy.

You say you're a big boy  
But I can't agree  
'Cause the love you said you had  
Ain't been put on me  
I wonder  
If I'm just too much for you  
Wonder  
If my kiss don't make you just  
Wonder  
What I got next for you  
What you want to do? (Do)

Take a chance to recognize that this could be yours  
I can see, just like most guys that your game don't please  
Baby, can't you see?  
How these clothes are fitting on me  
And the heat coming from this beat  
I'm about to blow  
I don't think you know

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

Come on baby, loosen up my buttons babe  
Loosen up my buttons babe  
Baby, won't you loosen up my buttons babe?  
Loosen up my buttons babe

I'm a make you loosen up my buttons babe  
Loosen up my buttons babe  
Why don't you loosen up my buttons babe  
Loosen up my buttons babe

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

By the time the song was over, Ron wanted to kill himself. Everyone was applauding and whistling at them. Harry gave them a standing ovation. The green-eyed boy stood up on the table as well and beamed at them.

"That was awesome you guys. Hermione, that was extremely sexy,' said Harry, while he removed the Silencio charm from her. Hermione smiled and was about to say something when Harry spoke again. "I bet you could be one of the PussyCat Dolls too! You sing and dance as good as them! And you too Ron! I'm gonna send a letter to their manager, you will be famous!" And thus said, the Boy-Who-Can't-Even-Be-Turned-On-By-A-Lingerie-Clad-Girl skipped out of the Great Hall and to the Owelery.

Hermione stood up there with her mouth opened. Malfoy walked up to her, laughing at her the whole time. "I guess not even your sexy dance could awaken Harry Jr. And to think I was worried. But the Weasley was very good. Anyways, the war goes one, Pussy."

And the end! For this chapter anyways! Please people, read and review! See, Ming Ming, didn't I told you I was gonna update Tuesdays and Thursdays? OH YEAH! I will be updating those days. Bye Bye!1


	6. Poetry Showdown

**Well, here we go again, a day too late... But who cares! At least its here! Anywho...**

**Nothing to say so lets just get started already:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor any of the poems in this chapter. **

**Two Romeos and a Juliet**

by: K.L. Bloodfang

**Chapter 6:_ Poetry Showdown!_**

It had been two weeks since Hermione's and Ron's little performance and neither Draco nor Bushyhead knew what to do next. They were both pacing in their respective Common Rooms, trying to decide what to do next.

**In the Slytherin Common Room... **

"Damn it! Crabbe! Goyle! A bright idea would be welcome right now," yelled Draco. Both boys shock their heads, unable to come up with anything. Both Pansy and Millicent sighed and took out their little notebooks: _It was too good to be true. It seems they both have used all the bright ideas they had for the rest of their lives. Le sigh. _They put the notebooks back in their pockets.

"AAAAAAAHHH! Fuck you all to hell! I'll ask someone else for help!"

**In the Gryffindore Common Room.. **

"RONALD! Help me! I need one of your bright ideas! NOW! Or I'll lose to Malfoy! I cannot lose to that pompous little asshole," yelled the Bushy-Haired Demon. Ron looked at her and opened his mouth. Hermione smiled in anticipation.

"One question. How do you know Malfoy has a little asshole? Did you checked or something?", asked the red-headed idiot. Hermione's jaw dropped as she heared the stupid question common form her friends mouth.

"What kind of question is that!" "I don't know! It just came to me!" "Forget it! I'll ask someone else!"

**Somewhere in Hogwarts...**

'Damn it all to Hell! What am I gonna do? I don't know what else to do,' thought the distraught Malfoy boy.

'Aww, come on, Hermione! You're a girl! You're supposed to know about all this stuff! How come you can't come up with something else?', thought the Queen of Mudbloods.

**In the Dungeons... **

Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape had never really gotten along. Ever since Minerva had beaten him in the Hogwart's talent show all those years ago and Severus had defeated her in the Poetry Masters competition they have had a war. And they were tired! Tired of their constant bickering and fighting. It had to come to an end and soon.

"Now, Severus. How are we supposes to end our constant fighting. I'm getting to old for this anyways," said the old woman, staring at the Potions Master, who was wearing his lacy pink robes at the moment.

"Well, I don't know, my dear hag," he said smiling. Minerva glared at him. Suddenly, Severus felt a tingling in his head.

"My Mega Manly Powers of DESTRUCTION senses are tingling! Draco must be in some sort of problem!"' said the Potions Master standing up. Then, Minerva also felt a tingling in her head.

"LE GASP! My Amazing Girly Powers of DOOM are tingling! Hermione must be in distress!', she said. Both professors look at each other and ran towards a wall to disappear. Unfortunately, they forgot to actually cast the spell that allowed them to pass through the walls and crashed against them.

"OW! FUCK!", both of them said and cast the spell and left.

**In random Hogwarts Corridor...**

Severus found Draco first, who was slamming his head against a wall. The Potions Master walked behind him and touched his shoulder. Draco, who hadn't sensed the man, jumped ten feet in the air.

"DON'T DO THAT," he yelled after he calmed down.

"Sorry. But what's the matter with you, my dear boy?", asked Snape, face full of concern.

"I will never get used to Caring! Pink robe wearing! Snape. Anywho, I can't think of anything else to do for Potter! And that stupid Mudblood will beat me!" Snape looked at his student and then, he had an idea. Pleased with this new thought, he laughed evilly. Draco just stared and shook his head.

**In another random Hogwarts Corridor...**

Minerva had been looking for Hermione and scared dozen of students in the process. Come on! As if you wouldn't be scared at seeing your professor pop out of nowhere. Through a wall none the less! Anywho, she finally found her in the library.

"My dear, why the long face," she asked. Hermione was startled, but did not jumped. (DAMN!)

"Professor McGonagall! You startled me. It's just that I can't think anything else to win Harry's heart, What should I do," asked the troubled girl. Minerva looked at her student and then, she had a thought. Pleased with her new idea, she began to laugh evilly, which scared the shit out of the teen.

Both McGonagall and Snape grabbed their respective student by his/her hand and pulled them. They met half-way and both professors pointed at each other. "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A POETRY SHOWDOWN! The kids will recite the poems and Potter will be the judge. Whoever he falls for will be the winner!", both said at the same time. The poor students had no say in the matter.

**A week later...**

Hermione and Draco stood on top of the teacher table at the Great Hall. They each had three poems that they were going to recite for the Boy-Who-Lived. Snape and McGonagall were glaring at each other, both sure they were going to win. First was Hermione.

"HARRY! Please listen to this!

**_My Love For You  
_**

_How can I express my love for you,_

_My love is unconditional, yes, it's true,_

_Words cannot begin to express,_

_The way I would carress,_

_Your body so wonderfully._

_If I lost my eyes and could not see,_

_Would I still see you, so lovely,_

_Yes, indeed, undoubtedly,_

_For nothing is quite as heavenly,_

_As the thought of you with me._

_Your love for me,_

_Is it there,_

_Do I have the key,_

_To unlock your feelings for me?_

_Is there a possibility,_

_The question I ask of thee,_

_Is there more for me,_

_Than which I query?_

_Could anyone love you,_

_As much as I do,_

_Could anyone feel for you,_

_the way that do?_

_Would anyone treat you,_

_The way I want to,_

_Would anyone try,_

_To make you cry,_

_Out in happiness?_

_I love you deeply,_

_Madlly and truly,_

_But can that express,_

_My feelings fully?_

_Can I find the key,_

_To unlock your heart for me,_

_All I can do is hope,_

_But what is hope,_

_A slim- "maybe"?_

_Does your heart have a place for me,_

_A well kept secret from society,_

_A very warm place without agony,_

_A place for a you and a place for a me?_

_A time to live and a time to die_

_I ask of you but not a lie,_

_Is there a piece of you,_

_That could love me?_

_I only want happiness,_

_For you and for me,_

_Will this ever be,_

_Or is it just a possibility,_

_For you, and a dream for me?"_

Harry clapped at her poem, moved by it. Draco growled at her and moved forward. "Harry, listen to this one!

_**Love that Doesn't Notice You**  
_

_These eyes have broken into tears_

_In hope that someday you'd understand my fears_

_The pains which my heart has felt, I wish you knew_

_Simply because I fell for someone like you_

_Every night I pray on my knees_

_For you to wipe away my tears_

_But instead, you were the source _

_Of every pain I feel inside_

_How much I prayed to the lord above_

_Just for once that you see my love_

_I guess you were blind, and so am I _

_To pursue a love which was never meant_

_I was wrong to think_

_That maybe someday it would be you and me_

_I was so careless with my heart that I loved you _

_Even though it was tearing me apart_

_My love was just too strong_

_For even I to end _

_I don't know how much longer I can withhold _

_The sorrow, which has kept me on my knees_

_I hoped for a better tomorrow_

_But I know it's just another day of sorrow_

_Why do I keep on inflicting on myself_

_Pains, which you yourself..._

_Once took away from me_

_All I wanted was to call you my babe_

_And for us to be happy_

_But I see now that you feel contempt_

_With the life that you have_

_In which I know I am not included_

_Therefore I must once again dwell_

_In the past that I cannot elude _

_Why couldn't you see_

_The warmth and tender care of my heart_

_A heart which would do anything and everything_

_That you could ever want or need?_

_Why couldn't you feel_

_The love and passionate desires I showed to you_

_A love so deep and true_

_That nothing else could or would matter most?_

_Why couldn't you hear_

_The words I've said and the voice of my affections_

_Affection near to perfection_

_Which an angel has planted in my heart?_

_I have restricted myself to loving again_

_Only because of you_

_I love you…_

_Why couldn't you see?_

_I have rendered my heart_

_Only to be in your presence_

_But you couldn't even see _

_For in your eyes I was invincible_

_You leave me with tears falling from my eyes_

_Confusion in my mind_

_A pain in my heart_

_And a love which will be lost forever_

_How do I live another day_

_With thoughts of you in my mind_

_Only to be the reason of my confusion_

_In my heart, where I wish you never were?_

_I gave you so much_

_That it hurts me to say_

_Not once did you deserve_

_The kind of love a person like me could give_

_Why couldn't you just see_

_That you're tormenting me? _

_I can't take the pain inside_

_The hurt in my heart_

_I have loved you _

_Only to be hurt once again_

_Because my love you couldn't see_

_Or probably because you chose not to see_

_I don't know how else to tell you_

_That you're hurting me so _

_These tears will continue to flow_

_Until my heart can mend_

_I don't know when this pain will end_

_I just can't understand_

_After all I've said and done_

_You still couldn't see"_

Harry cried after hearing this one. "That was so sad. Very good! Amazing Draco!" Hermione pushed Draco away. "I'm not done Harry! There is more!

_**Will He Ever Be Mine?**  
_

_Every day I try really hard_

_to get his attention,_

_but no matter what I do,_

_I'm left with that same question..._

_Does he notice me?_

_When I look at him I see _

_an attractive, quiet guy._

_I can't help but wonder_

_and ask myself with a sigh..._

_When he looks at me, what does he see?_

_I'm so excited when I see him_

_and I'm determined to say, "hi."_

_But somehow I get nervous_

_and the chance passes me by._

_How many chances do I get?_

_I sit and daydream about_

_the life we could have together._

_If only he knew I existed,_

_then he could be mine forever._

_When will my dreams come true?_

_Just one little kiss_

_is all I would need_

_to ease the hurt_

_in a heart that bleeds._

_Will I ever get that kiss?_

_Every night I wish_

_that someday he'd be mine._

_I guess I'm just waiting_

_for God to give me a sign._

_Will he ever be mine?"_

Draco pulled her hair and moved in front of her. "I also have another one, Harry! Listen...

_**Tonight**  
_

_Everytime I look at you,_

_my heart begins to melt._

_Everytime I think of you,_

_I wish you knew how I felt._

_Your beautiful smile_

_brings a tear to my eye._

_The sound of your gentle voice_

_makes me want to cry._

_I can imagine your kiss,_

_your warm embrace._

_I can imagine your hands_

_caressing my face._

_It feels so great,_

_so real it seems._

_I wish you were here,_

_and not only in my dreams"_

Once again, Harry was moved to tears. "It was short, but oh so sweet! I don't know what to say!", said Harry Hermione stomped on Malfoy's foot and moved forward again. "Harry, there is one more! Listen, love...

**_Never Have I Fallen_**__

Your lips speak soft sweetness  
Your touch a cool caress  
I am lost in your magic  
My heart beats within your chest

I think of you each morning  
And dream of you each night  
I think of your arms being around me  
And cannot express my delight

Never have I fallen  
But I am quickly on my way  
You hold a heart in your hands  
That has never before been given away" 

_"_Once again, very lovely Hermione! I'm so impressed!" Harry was crying again. Draco completely pissed off at the moment, pushed Hermione from the table and she landed on her head. "TAKE THAT, BITCH! Anywho, Harry this is for you!

**_An Entrapment_**__

My love, I have tried with all my being  
to grasp a form comparable to thine own,  
but nothing seems worthy;

I know now why Shakespeare could not  
compare his love to a summer's day.  
It would be a crime to denounce the beauty  
of such a creature as thee,  
to simply cast away the precision  
God had placed in forging you.

Each facet of your being  
whether it physical or spiritual  
is an ensnarement  
from which there is no release.  
But I do not wish release.  
I wish to stay entrapped forever.  
With you for all eternity.  
Our hearts, always as one. 

Harry bowed before them. "You guys are amazing! I don't know what to say! That's it! You guys should write a poetry book together! You are equally good! Yep yep!" Harry said as he walked out of the Great Hall, leaving behind a distraught Draco and a knock out Hermione.

That's it for this chapter! Till next week! Please review!


	7. Hogwarts Idol

Well, my people! I'm sorry for not updating sooner... No reason this time, just being my lazy self! Okay, my birthday was on Thursday and I celebrating! I'm 20 now! And I got the Fullmetal Alchemist pocket watch and pendant and a folding dagger; it looks like a dragon claw! They're awesome! As for this Tuesday, I was buying the new Evanescence CD, The Open Door! It is awesome! People, you have to get it!

Anywho, back to the FiFi!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor any of the songs that appear on this chapter. They belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling or whoever wrote them and performed them. OKAY!

**Two Romeos and a Juliet**

by: K.L. Bloodfang

**Chapter 7: Hogwarts Idol**

Dumbledore paced back and forth in his office. He had been doing this for nearly six hours straight. And why had he been doing this for so long? Simple: he was BORED! He wanted some excitement at the school; he couldn't take it anymore. Problem was, he couldn't think of a way to make things more exciting.

Then something clicked and a light bulb appeared over his head. It quickly turned off though; muggle objects don't work inside Hogwarts grounds you know. Anywho... He called both Prof. Snape and Prof. McGonagall to his office, hoping the three of them could come up with something fun. Minutes later, both feuding professors where sitting inside the old man's office.

"Something the matter, Albus?", asked Minerva.

"No! Everything is peachy peach!", answered Dumbledore, as he was about to eat a lemon drop. Snape took if out of his hands before he had the pleasure though.

"Sorry, professor, but I think you have had too many happy candies today. Now, if there is nothing wrong, why the hell did you called us here for!", said Snape, eating the happy candy himself.

"OH YEAH! I'm bored! Think of something entertaining! I want something to happen at this school. Something that the students can participate in and, in turn, entertain me as well!", said the old man twirling around.

McGonagall and Snape thought deeply at what the professor had asked them. Something the students could participate in and at the same time entertain him. They thought and thought and thought, and still nothing. Until suddenly, too lit candles appeared over their heads. Dumbledore look at the candles and pouted. 'How come I only get stupid light bulbs and not candles?'

"I got it! A talent show!", said Minerva.

"Better yet, a singing contest! That should keep us entertained for a while! What do you think, Albus," said Snape. Dumbledore smiled and nodded really, really fast.

"Alright men! To the Great Hall!", the senile, old man yelled.

The three of them ran to the Great Hall and burst through the doors, scaring the hell out of the students. All the kids look at them in bewilderment for all of them had ear-to-ear smiles in their faces. SCARY!

"I have great news, my duckies! Hogwarts shall have a singing contest this Sunday! Anyone that wants can participate! The winner will receive a kiss from Harry Potter! Also he will also be judging and picking the winner," said Dumbledore smiling. The students roared in excitement, all swearing they would win the kiss. Harry just looked confused.

"Professor, how come I have to judge and kiss the winner?", asked Harry.

"Simple, we voted and you lost," answered Albus grinning. Harry nodded and smiled again.

Both Draco and Hermione couldn't believe their luck. A singing contest and the winner got a kiss from the man of their dreams! It was perfect! They had to win the contest. So, to assure it, they got their best friends to perform as well! Blaise was more than happy to sing in front of people again; it was Ron the one that was skeptical, but a good threat by the bushy-haired girl made him agree.

**Sunday!**

The contest day had arrived and everyone was excited. A giant stage was erected in the middle of the Quidditch field. Those that weren't performing stood on the stands cheering and screaming for their friends to win. Harry sat on a red and gold throne at the side of the stage, where he could see and hear the performance the best. Then, Dumbledore appeared on the stage, wearing a blue tuxedo with little golden stars on it. (Talk about fashion sense)

"Welcome everyone, to the first ever, Hogwarts Idol! Today is a very exciting day, where many hope to win the kiss from the most wanted bachelor in the whole Wizarding World! Anywho, lets get right into it, shall we? Our first performer is a very handsome young man, also very wanted at Hogwarts. Please put your hands together for the Slytherin Prince, Draco Malfoy!"

The school roared in applause. Soon, a light appeared in the middle of the stage. Draco wore a green, silk button shirt and tight, black leather pants. His hair has loose and kinda wet. In other words, he looked yummylicious! Behind him, stood Blaise, who wore the same outfit as Draco, except his shirt was silver. Soon music started playing and the boys began singing.

_**Blaise:** Empty __spaces__ fill me up with holes  
Distant faces with no place left to go   
Without you within me I can't find no rest  
Where I'm going is anybody's guess_

**Draco:** I tried to go on like I never knew you  
I'm awake but my world is half asleep  
I pray for this heart to be unbroken  
But without you all I'm going to be is   
Incomplete

**Blaise:** Voices tell me I should carry on  
But I am _swimming__ in an ocean all alone  
Baby my baby it's written on your __face__   
You still wonder if we made a big mistake_

**Draco:** I try to go on like I never knew you  
I'm awake but my world is half asleep  
I pray for this heart to be unbroken  
But without you all I'm going to be is  
Incomplete

**Blaise and Draco:** I don't meant to drag it on  
But I can't seem to let you go  
I don't wanna make you face this world alone  
I wanna let you go (alone)

I try to go on like I never knew you  
I'm awake but my world is half asleep  
I pray for this heart to be unbroken   
But without you all I'm going to be is  
Incomplete  
Incomplete

Once again, the crowd roared and applauded. Their performance was amazing! Harry stood up and gave them a standing ovation.

"That was amazing, you two! Incredibly sung! An amazing start to this contest", said Judge Harry. The boys got off stage and Dumbledore walked in again.

"Incredible performance! It will be a bit hard to top, but our next performer will surely do her best! Her brilliant mind is only challenged by her grace and beauty; please welcome, Hermione Granger." Another roar from the crowd and the light turned off.

In the middle of the stage was Hermione, wearing a pink bra and low-jeans. Her hair was straight and she had Crookshanks on her shoulders. Around her were Parvarti, Lavender, Ginny and another girl that looked a lot like Ginny, except a bit older. They all wore tight jeans and short shirts. 'Its time for all of our training with Dreema-sensei to show its fruit! We're doing this for you, Dreema-sensei!', thought Hermione. Then, the music started playing and Hermione singing:

_**Hermione: **I know I may be young, but I've got feelings too.  
And I need to do what I feel like doing.  
So let me go and just listen._

All you people look at me like I'm a little girl.  
Well did you ever think it be okay for me to step into this world.

Always saying little girl don't step into the club.  
Well I'm just tryin' to find out why cause dancing's what I love.

Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOA)  
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOOOA)(Do you like it)  
Get it get it, get it get it (OOOHHHH)(This feels good)

I know I may come off quiet, I may come off shy.  
But I feel like talking, feel like dancing when I see this guy.

What's practical is logical. What the hell, who cares?  
All I know is I'm so happy when you're dancing there.

I'm a slave for you. I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.  
I'm a slave for you. I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it.

Baby, don't you wanna, dance upon me,  
(I just wanna dance next to you)  
To another time and place.  
Baby, don't you wanna, dance upon me,  
(Are you ready)  
Leaving behind my name, my age.  
(Lets go)

(Like that)  
(You like it)  
(Now watch me)

Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOA)  
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOOOA)  
Get it get it, get it get it (OOOHHHH)  
**Panting**

I really wanna dance, tonight with you.  
(I just can't help myself)  
I really wanna do what you want me to.  
(I just feel I let myself go)

I really wanna dance, tonight with you.  
(Wanna see you move)  
I really wanna do what you want me to.  
(Uh Uh Uh)

Baby, don't you wanna, dance upon me,  
(I just wanna dance next to you)  
To another time and place.  
Baby, don't you wanna, dance upon me,  
(Are you ready)  
Leaving behind my name, my age.

I'm a slave for you. (Take that) I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.  
I'm a slave (It just feels right) for you. (It just feels good)  
I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it. (Baby)

Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOA)  
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOOOA)  
Get it get it, get it get it (OOOHHHH)  
**Panting**

Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOA)  
Get it get it, get it get it (WHOOOOOA)  
Get it get it, get it get it (OOOHHHH)  
**Panting**

I'm a slave for you. (Here we go now)  
I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.  
I'm a slave for you. (Here we go) I won't deny it, (Yeah)  
I'm not trying to hide it.

(Like that)

Again the crowed cheered wildly at the sexy performance by the Gryffindore girls. Harry stood again and applauded as hard as he had with Draco's performance.

"Wow! That was amazing girls! And also, very brave and kind of you, Ron, to help Hermione with her performance like this! Well done, Ron!" Yep, the Ginny look-a-like was Ron. Can you even picture him dancing like Britney and keep a straight face? Anywho...

"Another great performance! Way to go, Gryffindore! Now is time for our staff to show what it can do! This next performer is better know as that greasy-haired, crooked-nosed Slytherin villain. Please welcome, our own Potions Master, Severus Snape, to the stage!"

The students just stood with their jaw-dropped in shock. Snape was going to sing? In the middle of the stage stood Snape, wearing a black cloak and he had a microphone in his hands. Yep, he was going to sing. Alongside him where Lucius Malfoy, and Crabbed and Goyle Sr., also wearing black cloaks. Now, everyone was scared.

"You all know me as eternally-stick-up-my-ass Snape, but that is about to change! I will show you, the true me. HIT IT!" Music began playing, and the four men shed their cloaks to reveal, to the horror of the whole school, pink, lacy robes. Then Snape began singing, with a wide smile on his face.

_**Severus**  
I feel pretty,  
Oh, so pretty,  
I feel pretty and witty and bright!  
And I pity  
Any girl who isn't me tonight._

I feel charming,  
Oh, so charming  
It's alarming how charming I feel!  
And so pretty  
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:  
Who can that attractive girl be?  
Such a pretty face,  
Such a pretty dress,  
Such a pretty smile,  
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning  
And entrancing,  
Feel like running and dancing for joy,  
For I'm loved  
By a pretty wonderful boy!

**Boys**  
Have you met my good friend Maria,  
The craziest girl on the block?  
You'll know her the minute you see her,  
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.

She thinks she's in love.  
She thinks she's in Spain.  
She isn't in love,  
She's merely insane.

It must be the heat  
Or some rare disease,  
Or too much to eat  
Or maybe it's fleas.

Keep away from her,   
Send for Chino!  
This is not the  
Maria we know!

Modest and pure,  
Polite and refined,  
Well-bred and mature  
And out of her mind!

**Severus**  
I feel pretty,  
Oh, so pretty  
That the city should give me its key.  
A committee   
Should be organized to honor me.  
**  
Boys**  
La la la la . . .

**Severus**  
I feel dizzy,  
I feel sunny,  
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,  
And so pretty,  
Miss America can just resign!

**Boys**  
La la la la . . . 

**Severus**  
See the pretty girl in that mirror there: 

**Boys**  
What mirror where?

**Severus**   
Who can that attractive girl be?

**Boys**  
Which? What? Where? Whom?

**Severus**  
Such a pretty face,   
Such a pretty dress,  
Such a pretty smile,  
Such a pretty me!

**Boys**  
Such a pretty me!

**ALL**  
I feel stunning  
And entrancing,  
Feel like running and dancing for joy,  
For I'm loved  
By a pretty wonderful boy! 

The entire school was in shock at having watched their most feared professor prance around in pink, lacy robes. Harry applauded with tears in his eyes.

"That was amazing professor! Very inspiring performance. I bet we can all learn from you!" Then he and Snape hugged.

"That was...weird. Anyways! On to our next singer. She is a very wonderful woman, kind and caring. She maybe strict, but she is a great teacher. Give a hands of applause to Minerva McGonagall!"

The students clapped, hoping that their dear professor wasn't wearing anything pink. And she wasn't! She wore a red and gold wedding dress! She laid on the ground of the stage, microphone in hand. (Now, people, picture Madonna's performance of this song on the MTV's VMA's.)

_I made it through the wilderness  
Somehow I made it through  
Didn't know how lost I was  
Until I found you_

_I was beat incomplete  
I'd been had, I was sad and blue  
But you made me feel  
Yeah, you made me feel  
Shiny and new_

_Like a virgin  
Touched for the very first time  
Like a virgin  
When your heart beats  
Next to mine_

_Gonna give you all my love, boy  
My fear is fading fast  
Been saving it all for you  
'Cause only love can last_

_You're so fine and you're mine  
Make me strong, yeah you make me bold  
Oh your love thawed out  
Yeah, your love thawed out  
What was scared and cold_

_Like a virgin  
Touched for the very first time  
Like a virgin  
With your heartbeat  
Next to mine_

_Oooh, oooh, oooh_

_You're so fine and you're mine  
I'll be yours 'till the end of time  
'Cause you made me feel  
Yeah, you made me feel  
I've nothing to hide_

_Like a virgin  
Touched for the very first time  
Like a virgin  
With your heartbeat  
Next to mine_

_Like a virgin, ooh, ooh  
Like a virgin  
Feels so good inside  
When you hold me, and your heart beats, and you love me_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Ooh, baby  
Can't you hear my heart beat  
For the very first time?_

Again, the students were shock-struck. Many even fainted! Even Harry didn't knew what to say. Dumbledore walked out again, this time with bits of toilet paper inside his nose. "AMAZING, MINNY! Simply amazing! Anyways, on to our next performer. You all know him as our lovable, resident werewolf. Kind, caring and also naughty when the time is right, please give a hand of applause to Remus Lupin!"

Those that had shaken off the previous image of Minny rolling on the ground clapped enthusiastically. Surely Remus was saner than those other two, right? Wrong! Remus walked out wearing a black dress, knee-high black boots and lots of black eyeshadow and mascara and purple lipstick. (Don't ask, I had a dream last night where we was dressed like this and was singing this song, so it must be done). He then began singing, in a very sad tone.

_Stay low  
soft, dark, and dreamless  
far beneath my nightmares and loneliness  
I hate me  
for breathing without you  
I don't want to feel anymore for you_

grieving for you  
I'm not grieving for you  
nothing real love can't undo  
and though I may have lost my way  
all paths lead straight to you

I long to be like you  
lie cold in the ground like you

Halo   
blinding wall between us  
melt away and leave us alone again   
humming, haunted somewhere out there  
I believe our love can see us through in death

I long to be like you  
lie cold in the ground like you  
there's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you  
I'm coming for you

You're not alone  
no matter what they told you you're not alone  
I'll be right beside you forevermore

I long to be like you, sis  
lie cold in the ground like you did  
there's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you  
and as we lay in silent bliss  
I know you remember me  
I long to be like you  
lie cold in the ground like you  
there's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you  
I'm coming for you 

By the end of the song, the entire school was in tears. Everyone felt so sad. Remus cried uncontrollably on the ground asking why he had been taken away. Then a voice spoke.

"But Remus! I'm not dead!"

To be Continued!

That's the first part of the talent show. It is WAY too long to write on one chapter! Anyways, can anyone guess all the songs in here? Remus' will be the hardest! More crack songs next chapter!

Please read and review!


	8. Hogwarts Idol Part Deux

Well, people. I'm not going to say anything right now. I'm too sleepy... WAY too sleepy! So lets go straight to fanfiction...

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the songs that will be in this story.

Previously:

_I long to be like you,  
lie cold in the ground like you did  
there's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you  
and as we lay in silent bliss  
I know you remember me  
I long to be like you   
lie cold in the ground like you  
there's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you  
I'm coming for you _

By the end of the song, the entire school was in tears. Everyone felt so sad. Remus cried uncontrollably on the ground asking why he had been taken away. Then a voice spoke.

"But Remus! I'm not dead!"

**Two Romeos and a Juliet**

by: K.L. Bloodfang

**Chapter 8: Hogwart's Idol Part Deux**

"It cannot be...", whispered Remus in shock. Before him stood Sirius Black, he wore a pair of black pants and a dark, velvety red button shirt opened, mind you, showing his tone, sexy, chest, his wonderful washboard abs and a little down south... (ENOUGH!).

"Of course its me! Who else could it be?", said the sexy, sexy man.

"Prove it! I'll ask you something only the REAL Sirius would now." "Okay!"

"Alright, 'Sirius', what's you favorite food?", asked Remus.

"You! Like DUH!", said Sirius looking at Remus up and down. "You know, I'm getting kind of hungry..."

"SIRIUS! Bad dog!", yelled Remus, trying to hide the blush that appeared on his cheeks. "Anyways, next question. What's your favorite song?"

"My favorite song? I know! In fact, I'm going to sing it for you!" said Sirius. He then took the microphone from Remus' hands just as music began to play.

"_Who let the dogs out  
(woof, woof, woof, woof)  
(woof, woof, woof, woof)  
(woof, woof, woof, woof)  
(woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_(woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_When the party was nice, the party was jumpin' (Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo)  
And everybody havin' a ball (Hah, ho, Yippie Yi Yo)  
I tell the fellas "start the name callin'" (Yippie Yi Yo)  
And the girls report to the call  
The poor dog show down_

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_I see ya' little speed boat head up our coast  
She really want to skip town  
Get back off me, beast off me  
Get back you flea infested monger_

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_I'm gonna tell Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo  
To any girls calling them canine Yippie, Yi, Yo  
Tell the dummy "Hey Man, It's part of the Party!" Yippie Yi, Yo  
You fetch a women in front and her mans behind Yippie, Yi, Yo  
Her bone runs out now_

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_Say, A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone All dogy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it  
A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone All dogy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it_

_Wait for y'all my dogs, the party is on_

_I gotta get my girl I got my myind on  
Do you see the rays comin' from my eye  
What could you be friend  
That Benji man that's breakin' them down?  
Me and My white short shorts  
And I can't seek a lot, any canine will do  
I'm figurin' that's why they call me faithful  
'Cause I'm the man of the land  
When they see me they doah-ooooo(howl)_

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)"_

After Sirius was done, he felt two things tackle him down. Both Remus and Harry had glomped him and were crying hysterically on top of him. "SIRIUS! You are back! You are alive," said Remus hugging him tightly. "I missed you, I'm so glad you're back," said Harry crying happily on him. Sirius hugged him back as well and then he whispered in Remus' ear, "How about we get reacquainted, Remus?" Remus took Sirius' hand and ran away with him. Something suspiciously sounding like "I'm gonna get laid!" was heard behind them.

The rest of the school looked back at them, blinking. Dumbledore picked up the microphone the two lovebirds left behind and spoke. "Okay... Let's continue with the competition, shall we? Harry back to your throne! Next is a young lady that is... she has... had a... OH forget it! Here is Luna Lovegood!"

Lovegood walked out to the stage, painted head to toe in blue paint. Everyone just clapped; they were used to seeing her doing weird things like this. Then she began singing:

_Yo listen up here's a story  
About a little guy that lives in a blue world  
And all day and all night and everything he sees  
Is just blue  
Like him inside and outside  
Blue his house with a blue little window  
And a blue Corvette  
And everything is blue for him  
And himself and everybody around  
Cause he ain't got nobody to listen_

_I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ...  
I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ..._

_I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ...  
I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ..._

_  
I have a blue house with a blue window  
Blue is the colour of all that I wear  
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too  
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue  
Blue are the people here that walk around  
Blue like my Corvette, it's in and outside  
Blue are the words I say and what I think  
Blue are the feelings that live inside me_

_I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ...  
I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ..._

_  
I have a blue house with a blue window  
Blue is the colour of all that I wear  
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too  
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue  
Blue are the people here that walk around  
Blue like my Corvette, it's in and outside  
Blue are the words I say and what I think  
Blue are the feelings that live inside me_

_  
I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ...  
I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ..._

_  
Inside and outside  
Blue his house with a blue little window  
And a blue Corvette  
And everything is blue for him and himself  
And everybody around  
Cause he ain't got nobody to listen  
_

_I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ...  
I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa ..._

Everyone stared at her. Luna just crossed another line of weirdness right there. The blue girl flashed a bright blue smile at the crowed and ran inside the school. Everyone sweat dropped. Dumbledore once again walked out with his very bright tuxedo.

"Okay? That was a bizarre performance... Anywho! Let's continue! This next performance is a story of true love. It brings tears to my eyes to see such a deep bond between these two", said Dumbledore, cleaning a tear from his eye. "Anywho, here we have Argus Filch and Mrs. Norris! Please give them a big round of applause!"

The whole school was stunned! That creepy old man and his cat were going to sing! EWW! Soon, Mr. Filch came on stage wearing a black suit and carrying his beloved cat, Mrs. Norris, (who was wearing a white dress). They looked lovingly at each other, causing many of the students to barf. Then the dreaded music began and Mrs. Norris started meowing to the tune of the song. A puff of smoke appeared on top of the cat, with the translation of what she was singing. (Evanescence fans, please don't kill me. I also love Evanescence, but I couldn't resist).

_**Mrs. Norris (Translated) **_

_Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me  
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free  
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you  
And at sweet night, you are my own  
Take my hand  
_

_**(Together)**  
We're leaving here tonight  
There's no need to tell anyone  
They'd only hold us down  
So by the morning's light  
We'll be half way to anywhere  
Where love is more than just your name  
_

_**Mrs. Norris (Translated) **  
I have dreamt of a place for you and I  
No one knows who we are there  
All I want is to give my life only to you  
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore  
Let's run away, I'll take you there  
_

_**(Together)**  
We're leaving here tonight  
There's no need to tell anyone  
They'd only hold us down  
So by the morning's light  
We'll be half way to anywhere  
Where no one needs a reason  
_

_**Mrs. Norris (Translated) **  
Forget this life  
Come with me  
Don't look back you're safe now  
Unlock your heart  
Drop your guard  
No one's left to stop you_

_**(Together)**  
Forget this life  
Come with me  
Don't look back you're safe now  
Unlock your heart  
Drop your guard  
No one's left to stop you now  
_

_**(Together)**  
We're leaving here tonight  
There's no need to tell anyone  
They'd only hold us down  
So by the morning's light  
We'll be half way to anywhere  
Where love is more than just your name_

The couple ended their performance with a very loving kiss. The entire audience groaned and gagged. Dumbledore pushed them of the stage; heck, even he thought it was a little too much.

"Well THAT'S over! Blech! Let's pray our next performer isn't as degenerate as those two. Let's see.. AH, phew. This shouldn't be too bad. Next we have a young man that will do anything for his friends, to singing a girly song, to being a back up dancer and wearing girl's clothes. Here we have Ron Weasley!"

The crowed was laughing and clapping, wondering what kind of stupid song would Ron sing. Soon, rap music began to play and out came Ron, dressed as Eminem. And then. He began rapping.

_Two trailer park girls go round the outside;_

_round the outside, round the outside_

_scratches_

_Two trailer park girls go round the outside;_

_round the outside, round the outside_

_scratches_

_Guess who's back_

_Back again_

_Shady's back_

_Tell a friend_

_Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back_

_guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back._

_  
I've created a monster, cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more_

_They want Shady, I'm chopped liver_

_Well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya_

_A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor_

_Some vodka to jump start my heart quicker_

_than the shocks when I get shocked at the hospital_

_when the doctor when I'm not co-operating_

_When I'm rockin the table while he's operating _

_You waited this long, now stop debating_

_Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating_

_I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney_

_but your husband's heart problem's complicating_

_So the FCC won't let me be_

_or let me be me, so let me see_

_They try to shut me down on MTV_

_But it feels so empty, without me_

_So, come on and dip, bum on your lips_

_Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits_

_And get ready, cause this shit's about to get heavy_

_I just settled all my lawsuits, Fuck You Debbie!_

_Now this looks like a job for me_

_So everybody, just follow me_

_Cause we need a little, controversy_

_Cause it feels so empty, without me_

_I said-this looks like a job for me_

_So everybody, just follow me_

_Cause we need a little, controversy_

_Cause it feels so empty, without me_

_Little Hallions, kids feelin rebellious_

_Embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis_

_They start feelin like prisoners helpless_

_'til someone comes along on a mission and yells BITCH!_

_A visionary, vision of scary_

_Could start a revolution, pollutin the airwaves_

_A rebel, so just let me revel and bask_

_in the fact that I got everyone kissin my ass _

_And it's a disaster, such a castastrophe_

_for you can see so damn much of my ass; you asked for me?_

_Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na_

_Fix your damn antenna tune it in and then I'm gonna_

_enter in, under your skin like a splinter_

_The center of attention, back for the winter_

_I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling_

_Investing in your kid's ears a nest egg_

_Testing, attention please_

_Feel the tension, soon as someone mentions me_

_Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free_

_A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me?_

_Now this looks like a job for me_

_So everybody, just follow me_

_Cause we need a little, controversy_

_Cause it feels so empty, without me_

_I said-this looks like a job for me_

_So everybody, just follow me_

_Cause we need a little, controversy_

_Cause it feels so empty, without me_

_A-tisket a-tasket, I go tit for tat with_

_anybody who's talkin this shit, that shit_

_Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked_

_worse than those little Limp Bizkit bastards_

_And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie_

_You thirty-six year old boy fag, blow me_

_You don't know me, you're too old, let go_

_It's over, nobody listens to techno_

_Now let's go, just gimme the signal_

_I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults_

_I been dope, suspenseful with a pencil_

_ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol_

_But sometimes the shit just seems_

_everybody only wants to discuss me_

_So this must mean I'm dis-gus-ting_

_But it's just me, I'm just obscene_

_And though I'm not the first king of controversy_

_I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley_

_do black music so selfishly_

_and used it to get myself wealthy_

_Here's a concept that works_

_Twenty million other white rappers emerge_

_But no matter how many fish in the sea_

_It'll be so empty, without me_

_Now this looks like a job for me_

_So everybody, just follow me_

_Cause we need a little, controversy_

_Cause it feels so empty, without me_

_I said-this looks like a job for me_

_So everybody, just follow me_

_Cause we need a little, controversy_

_Cause it feels so empty, without me_

_Kids!_

The students clapped and cheered. Ron had been a whole lot better that they had all been expecting.

Dumbledore also clapped and walked out, looking a little blue. "Well, is time for the last performance. Because we are running out of time, two performers have been eliminated: Voldemort, who was going to sing "Man! I feel like a woman!" by Shania Twain; also, he isn't allowed at Hogwarts grounds. (In the distance, Voldemort's cries could be heard. To think, he had even wore his dominatrix costume for this occasion.) And my own performance, I wanted to sing "I believe I can Fly!" No fair! Oh well, I'll just sing it to the portraits later! Anywho, I'll leave you with Blaise Zabini!"

The school clapped and cheered, specially the Slytherins. He walked outside, wearing a white button shirt and black silk pants. He had a very serious look on his face. "Today, I will like to sing to you all, a song I believe represents us all. This song helped me see that Gryffindores and Slytherins, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, we are all one and the same. We are all wizards, whether we are wizardborn or muggleborn, its the same. The blood doesn't make the wizard."

The entire school was in tears after Blaise's little speech. Even Harry, who had only been thinking about how happy he was that Sirius was back and hadn't been listening to any of the other performances, payed attention to what the Zabini boy said and did. Then, he began singing.

_here's a llama  
there's a llama  
and another little llama  
fuzzy llama  
funny llama  
llama llama  
duck_

_llama llama  
cheesecake  
llama  
tablet  
brick  
potato  
llama  
llama llama  
mushroom  
llama  
llama llama  
duck_

_i was once a treehouse  
i lived in a cake  
but i never saw the way  
the orange slayed the rake  
i was only three years dead  
but it told a tale  
and now listen, little child  
to the safety rail_

_did you ever see a llama  
kiss a llama  
on the llama  
llama's llama  
tastes of llama  
llama llama  
duck_

_half a llama  
twice the llama  
not a llama  
farmer  
llama  
llama in a car  
alarm a llama  
llama  
duck_

_is THIS how it's told now?  
is it all so old?  
is it made of lemon juice?  
doorknob  
ankle  
cold  
now my song is getting thin  
I've run out of luck  
time for me to retire now  
and become a duck _

Everyone just stared at Blaise as he repeated his sing over and over again. Harry, who had sat up as soon as Blasie began singing, was crying in happiness. "Blaise! That song is beautiful! I think the exact same thing! It does speak of unity of our houses and the wizarding world! For that, you win the contest! You're the new Hogwart's Idol!"

The entire school stood with their jaw dropped down to the floor still trying to understand the logic behind that statement. For those who where hoping to win the wet one by Harry, their hearts were shattered. Heck, Hermione and Draco had both fainted when Harry made the announcement. Blaise, on the other hand, was jumping with joy.

"Hey, Harry! Instead of you kissing me as a prize, how about you sing with me," asked the Zabini boy. Harry squealed with joy at the idea and the two of them sang the Llama Song for the rest of the day.

Well, that's it for The Hogwart's Idol. I hope you people like it! Please review!


	9. Valentine's Day

Well, clears throat as you can see, I finally decided to start writing again. This last months have been crap and since my psychologist said that I should stop worrying so much about things and do things for myself. And so! Here I am! DON'T KILL ME!!!!!!!!

**Chapter 9: Valentine's Day**

Awww, such a beautiful day it was! Valentine's Day and love was all over the place. You could even smell it; why love smells like chocolate, sweat and something else I don't know but that what it smelled like that day. Anywho...

Everyone had someone that day, except two souls: our two Romeos, Draco and Hermione. Both where at their wits ends, since for weeks they had been thinking of what to give to their beloved Juliet and still today, the day of love, hadn't thought of anything.

**Slythering Common Room...**

**"**Well, Draco", said Pansy, "how about some chocolates? Or flowers? Maybe even a poem or a song?" "I've already done all that before! Besides everyone does that! No, it has to be something different, something modern, the INTERNET!" Everyone stared at him, completely confused.

"Draco? What the fuck?," asked Goyle. "Where did you got that from? Anyways, I think chocolate isn't such a bad idea," added Crabbe. The two of them where sitting snuggling on one of the couches, each eating the chocolates they had gotten from each other. "First, DAMN YOU BLAISE!! STOP SINGING THOSE AVENUE Q SONGS!! I GOT THEM STUCK TO IN MY HEAD!" Blaise, who had been singing the Internet is for Porn song from Avenue Q, paid no attention what-so-ever to what Draco had said. Furious, he turned back towards the two "little" lovebirds in the couch. " Second, what do you mean by chocolates would be a good gift?"

"It is simple. Don't you know that chocolates are aphrodisiacs? Get him a huge box, get him horny and have your fun with him afterwards! Why do you think so many people are born around October and November? It's the chocolate!," answer Crabbe to the bewildered Draco. He ran towards Pansy and grabbed her like a madman. "IS IT TRUE?! Answer me woman!!" "Yes! No let go of me!"

Draco dropped her and began to hop around the room. He was going to win Harry today! He had formulated a great plan. A candlelight dinner! For the appetizer, a fruit salad made with strawberries, raspberries, pineapples, bananas, all in a wine sauce. For the main dish, different kinds if seafood, specially oysters, ('Great! Harry loves oysters!', thought Draco) and for dessert, something with chocolate. PERFECT! He was finally going to get his prize!

**Meanwhile, on the Gryffindore Common Room.. **

Hermione was trying to coax reluctant Ron out of the bathroom. Ron gad made his mind, there was no way he was going out in public dressed as he was. Somehow, the psycho-girl had convinced him to dress as Cupid and give a cupid-gram to her beloved spectacled boy.

"Come on, Ron! I need you to do this for me! This is important to me! Don't you want to help your two best friends get together and have lots of little Harry's?, said the crazy girl." "I want to help you two, but not by embarrassing me like this! I have already sang a Pussycat Dolls song and you made me dress like a girl and be a back-up dancer!! And now this?! NO way!"

"But Ron, you look adorable!" Right at this moment, she managed to pulled him out of the room and thank God no one was there at the moment! Ron was dressed with a pink diaper, pink feathered wings, a bow and quiver of arrows and a sash that said 'I'M CUPID!' around his shoulder. "YOU CALL THIS ADORABLE!! This is ridiculous! NO way no how!" But the glare that Hermione sent towards him made him change his mind rather quickly.

Hermione handed him a huge box of chocolates, a card, and a bouquet of roses. "NOW GET!" "Yes, master..." And Ron had to go all through Hogwarts wearing a giant diaper looking for his best friend. He finally found him at Hagrid's hut. Both Hagrid and Harry stared at him as he were some sort of weird bug or something. Ron put all the stuff he had on Harry's hands and walked away, leaven two very bewildered persons behind. "I have to get me some new friends", muttered Ron as he walked away. As he entered the castle again he bumped into non other than Blaise Zabini, also dressed as Cupid. "They got you too?," asked Ron to the other boy. "YEP! Isn't it the greatest outfit EVER! I look adorable!! I carry my own toilet with me! WEEE!," answered Blaise before running towards Harry. "I'm surrounded by idiots and lunatics," said Ron and left back towards Gryffindore tower.

Blaise arrived in front of Harry and handed him a rose. Harry took it and smiled at Blaise. "Hello, Blaise! How you've been?, asked Harry." "Me great! I've got a message from Draco to you! It is: Mr. Potter, in this day, the Day of Love, it would be my honor if you would have dinner with me at 7:00 pm., at the Black Lake. If you do accept, please tell this idiot, I mean Cupid. I promise you a night you will not soon forget."

"Dinner? That would be wonderful! Tell Draco I will attend!" Blaise jumped happily and pretended to fly all the way back to the Slytherin dungeons. He kept fluttering around until Draco grabbed him by his sash, chocking him. After recuperating a little, Draco looked at him intensely. "So, what did he say? Did he say yes?" "YEP! He said he would lorve it!" Draco smiled like an idiot and began skipping around the room. "And now, to get ready."

At 7:00 pm, Harry arrived at the lake to quite a site. It was getting dark and the moon was coming out. Before the lake was a candlelit table, covered with a white tablecloth and roses served as a centerpiece. The food was at the table, covered with silver... cover thingies (what are those things called).

But the best part of it all was Draco himself. He was dressed with a green, silk shirt and black dress pants. He wore his hair in a low ponytail and some where on covering his face. Anyone would fall in love right there and would probably give themselves right then and there. Of course, Harry is not the brightest person when it comes to deciphering others, so of course he missed the entire point.

"Harry, I'm very happy that you decided to accept my invitation. You look ravishing tonight," said Draco taking Harry's hand and taking him to his sit. He wore a red shirt under a black coat and dark blue jeans. His shin-length hair was loose and it seemed to be dancing around in the breeze. Draco took his place opposite Harry and lift the covers of their plates, reveling the appetizers: a fruit salad with a wine-based sauce. He poured each other a glass of wine and looked at his date.

"This is delicious Draco! Did you made it yourself?," asked Harry as he enjoyed the delicious fruit. "Actually, yes. Though I had some help." Soon after, both of them were done. Draco covered the plates again and after a few seconds uncovered them, this time reveling the main course: seafood; shrimp and oysters. Harry squealed in happiness.

"MY FAVORITE! This is great!," Harry practically devoured his plate. Draco, just stared at him, getting hornier by the moment. Just watching the object of his affection before him, on top of all the aphrodisiac food, was making him want him more and more. And then was dessert. Draco covered the plates again and unveiled two large pieces of chocolate cake. The look of utter happiness in Harry's face made Draco sure he was going to get laid tonight.

After dessert, Harry looked at Draco with a dreamy look in his face. He began to get closer to him and Draco began to get closer as well. Little by little, inch by inch they got closer and closer and as their lips where about to touch...

"Draco, this was an awesome dinner! Everything was delicious. You know, this would be a great dinner for a date or something! You were right! I will remember this dinner when I may want to make something for a date! Anyways it's late so I'll be going! See ya later, Draco!"

Harry stood and left skipping all the way back to his room. Draco sat in sit, his left eye twitching and began banging his head against the table. "This was a date... DAMN IT! I'M HORNY!!"

And you all know how Draco spent the rest of his night!

Well, that's it. I know it sucks and it is short. Trust me, it wasn't easy trying to write this. But anyways, tell me what you think. Review please! I'll try not to wait another 4 months before updating.


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